To dare to be average is to intentionally let go of trying to be perfect.
Perfectionism is defined as striving for and demanding perfectionism, which normally seems like a good thing. Right?
Yet it turns out, some of our beliefs about perfect may not be quite… true.
Consider this quote by Dr. David D. Burns, a well known and respected cognitive behavioral therapist and author of Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy (which you can find on my resources page):
“‘Perfectionism” is man’s ultimate illusion. It simply doesn’t exist in the universe. There is no perfection. It’s really the world’s greatest con game; it promises riches and delivers misery… Everything can be improved if you look at it closely and critically enough.”
Basically he’s arguing that perfect is a myth. It doesn’t exist.
So here’s the thing: I like to aim for perfection.
After all, won’t striving to be perfect drive me to do my best work? Isn’t this a standard I should hold myself to? Isn’t this what people expect from me?
Is it possible that letting go of perfect and daring to be just average will actually lead to better results?
The Flaws of Perfect
For many of us, our beliefs regarding perfectionism are flawed.
Perfectionism can often be traced to a fear of making mistakes, which can be traced to a fear of being rejected or humiliated. We fear failure and we fear being less-than an ideal standard.
We fear our self-worth is contingent on being perfect.
These fears are illogical and can hinder our growth both in our personal and professional lives.
Daring to be Average
Letting ourselves be average- intentionally trying to be average- changes the game.
For those of us who have a tendency for perfectionism, being okay with average does not feel natural.
In fact, it feels downright wrong.
HOWEVER.
There are many benefits to embracing average:
Average allows us to take more risks
Since we’re not crippled at the thought of failure.
Average means we can try more things
Since we’re not obsessed with getting things right the first time.
Average means we can share our work
Because we’re not petrified we will be rejected.
Average means we can move forward with projects
Because we know we don’t need to obsess over every detail.
Average means we can accept failure and move on
Since we know that mistakes are bound to happen, we can learn from them and not be devastated by them.
Letting go of perfectionism and embracing being average is a mindset that often leads to more progress, more growth, and more enjoyment in our life and work.
I still believe we should try hard and seek to do our best.
But we also need to be aware of the beliefs and values behind our actions, our own thought patterns, beliefs, and wellness.
Essentially perfectionism is often driven by finding our identity and self worth in our work. It can be a self-critical mental trap that keeps us from ever being happy or moving forward.
We need to let that go.
You and I are worth more than the words we put on paper or how much we accomplish.
Let’s say that again.
Your worth is not tied to your work. My worth is not dependent on my success or failures.
Recognizing this gives us the freedom to set perfectionism aside. It gives us the security to create without fear of failure.
It gives us the courage to dare to be average.
And that, my friends, is a beautiful thing. <3
